Erin Nicole's Blog

Where Erin Talks about whatever she wants to whenever she wants to.

Circles are no fun….

I am feeling very lonely and I’m not sure how to get out of this horrible circle I’m in. I have been lonely for the last 2 years. I broke up with my ex 5 years ago now and I am finally ready to date (as of August 2015) and I’m realizing how lonely I really am.

I thought about joining a sorority because my sister is in Kappa Alpha Theta and she has tons of friends because of it. I’m kind of jealous of that because I don’t have any friends. I work a lot to keep myself from thinking about how lonely I am. I don’t know how to make friends.

I’m currently a Senior at Uni but I’m staying in school after I finish this Education degree to go back to get an Information Technology degree. Right now I’m taking 1 class online and this summer (2nd week of May) I’m going to start taking 2 classes at my university.

I work at the Uni in question and I have met tons of awesome people around my age but I don’t see any of them as my friends. Idk if it is because of an invisible wall I built or what.

The horrible circle goes as follows:

  • Realize I’m lonely.
  • Complain to my friends/family and then not listen to what they say. Give excuses to what they say. [one of my friends just told me off for this and I hate that I do this but I just do it]
  • Start doing something about it like joining or thinking about joining a sorority and actually start the process
  • Stop doing it for whatever reason. I become happy with my life or at least content. I get introverted (I am an introvert by nature) and don’t want to see people or realize that a sorority is expensive ($700 for the first semester here and it goes down every semester after that but $700 for deadlines and to hang out with people is a lot, in my opinion).

So now you see what I am dealing with. Idk why I can’t break this circle. I’m looking for any advice you guys can come up with. I promise I won’t make excuses. I’m actually going to try and listen.

I’ve tried looking for clubs but there aren’t any clubs that I am specifically interested in. I’m not sure I would be good at starting my own club because of how introverted I am. I believe you would need to be an extrovert to get people to join and what not.

I’m interested in computers, mostly, but pokemon and yugioh as well as anything to do with technology. Right now I’m wanting to cell phones at T-Mobile after I finish my degree and move up the ladder in the T-Mobile corporation because I love what they are doing and everything. The closest “club” I could find relating to my interests is where I work at my Uni.

I also love playing Soccer and Basketball. I tried playing soccer this spring but I just started my new job on campus right as the new season was starting and the hours overlapped with the soccer season. I’m going to try Basketball in the fall as well as Soccer and I’m going back to class full time in the fall but for the time being I want to make friends and stop feeling so sorry for myself.

I wanted to post this because it helped me when I posted it on Reddit but only 1 person replied to the post and he is now my friend on Kik. 🙂 But I am still feeling a void so I want to see what you guys think I should do.

Categories: career, challenge, College, depression, life, long blog, teaching

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4 replies

  1. WOW I had no idea sororities required you to pay to be a part of them! I considered joining meetup and doing that stuff, but I never actually go to things.

  2. Are there any blogger/creative meetups in your area? Of course, not every blogger these days is up for being friendly and going out for lunch, but it might be helpful. I don’t know. 🙁

    I’m also not great at making friends, either. When I try, I come across as this really awkward spazz of a human being. It’s either going to come off as annoying or endearing—and I always assume it’s never the latter.

    Good luck!

  3. I don’t really have a whole lot of advice to give but I just wanted to say that I can totally relate. As a senior in college, too, I’ve not really made a lot of friends from school. I have classmates that I’m friends with, but not close enough that I would do anything outside of class with them. The only advice I would say is just always say yes to anything that someone invites you to, even if you think you wouldn’t like it. Normally I’m not always up to go out because I’m so introverted, too, but going out and doing something I normally wouldn’t do makes me feel better and fills the void up a bit.

  4. Are you looking for friends or specifically a partner? I can’t really offer you much help in looking for a partner… I don’t really have ‘tips’. But about friends, you seem to have quite a few interests, and I know you tried – but I think you should give more meetups a go. I joined many but only ended up going to one, because I realised I wanted to be on my own. Seeing as you are feeling lonely, maybe find a meetup geared towards women. A lot of women just want to chat and get to know other women.

    After going to that one meetup it took me a few years to be interested in another one, and now all the ones I go to are related to technology or what I do at work. I feel like I just needed some time to feel like it was OK to socialise. I used to hate girls and find them hard to trust, finding that so many girls judged me because I had different interests or was even a different race. :/ Now I have found that there are many non-judgmental women in the tech industry who are lovely – I was just looking and hanging the wrong places.

    I suppose the same applies for men you want to meet. You might not have met someone yet because you aren’t looking in the right place 🙂

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